Seven Things You Should Never Bring To A BBQ

All week long in Los Angeles we’re celebrating BBQ Week by featuring two classic BBQ favorites on the menu each day. We’re also running a thrilling grilling experiment on Twitter and Instagram in which we grill various items to determine if grilling stuff really does make it better. We’re doing all of this to celebrate a uniquely American institution: the Summer BBQ. Whether you’re attending one or hosting one, it’s always a great time. But one question always comes up. “Is there anything I can bring?” Even if the host says, “Not really,” they’re just being polite. There is always something you can bring. Pretty much anything you bring will be appreciated. There are only a few things that would be met with scorn. Here are the Seven Things You Should Never Bring To A BBQ:

Nothing 

Don’t bring nothing to a BBQ. Even if the host has told you not to bring anything, at the very least you should bring some beer. You will never be looked at negatively for bringing beer.

Bud Light Lime

Unless you bring this beer. Do not bring this beer. Billed as a refreshing twist on Bud Light, Bud Light Lime doesn’t contain nearly enough lime to cover up the taste of Bud Light. This beer should be names Oops We Dropped A Lime In Your Bud Light.

Deviled Eggs

Deviled eggs are delicious, but bringing them to a BBQ means they’re going to sit out in the hot sun and become mushy and warm. Do not bring these unless you’re intentionally trying to make someone sick, in which case use extra mayonnaise.

Tortilla Chips Without Salsa

“Hey guys, I brought half of a dish,” is basically what you’re saying when you bring tortilla chips without salsa. You might as well bring a loaf of bread and tell everyone you made sandwiches.

Salsa Without Tortilla Chips

See above.

A Person Who Nobody Knows

Every BBQ is going to have a drunk guy getting his fingers in the bean dip and talking loudly about politics. You just don’t want to be the person that brought him.

Spiders 

Bringing spiders to a BBQ is even worse than bringing nothing. Are they important to the environment? Yes. Are they vital to keep bug populations under control? Yes. Do people overlook their positive attributes and instead focus on how scary and poisonous they are? Yes. Don’t bring spiders to a BBQ.

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